Mediocrity

'How can I hate someone who only ever gave me love?' thought Veronika, confused, trying to check her feelings. But it was too late, her hatred had been unleashed, she had opened the door to her personal hell. She hated the love she had been given, because it had asked for nothing in return, which was absurd, unreal, against the laws of nature.

That love asking for nothing in return had managed to fill her with guilt, with a desire to fulfil another's expectations, even if that meant giving up everything she had dreamed of for herself. It was a love that for years had tried to hide from her the difficulties and the corruption that existed in the world, ignoring the fact that, one day, she would have to find this out, and would then be defenceless against them.

-Veronika decides to die

I read this many years ago but it seemed a strange novel to me because I couldn't understand it. I find I gain more insight when I re-read novels now that I am old and grey. (I'm still a teenager ok!!)

There are many things I want to say but I can only speak of them to friends who are in the same situation as I am, because many are uncomfortable with the notion that they are... mediocre.

The title of this post? Mediocrity.

A: I regret quitting my piano classes when I was little.
B: Why don't you continue now?
A: Oh, I don't have time.
B: But with your level of competence, you can actually practise and submit a self-entry for the exam.
A: Ya, I know, but I dunno about the theory.
B: Oh, me too! But you can read up about it, can't you?
A: Aiya, I'm lazy! If nobody pushes me, I won't push myself!

Well, where does the problem lie? I hate it when people say "I don't have time" and then follow up with sentences like "I'm so envious of you, you have a regular part-time job, if I had continued my piano lessons I could also have one." Are you sure about that?

"If nobody pushes me, I won't push myself!" It clearly shows that A's passion is insufficient, A lacks drive. If you don't want to do anything about it, just quit complaining and move on to something better.

You can lead a horse to water but you can't force it to drink. I'm a nice person, I'll try to enlighten people like A, but most of the time, they never do. That's why they always end up as my acquaintances, not my close friends.

Anyway I just received a call. The woman I'm supposed to meet at 1.30pm later just called and said she walked out of the exam hall early. -_-U So now I'll have to go get ready. Au revoir!